Continuing on the topic of manipulation – a situation happened in my life when I was very manipulated by a person who has been following the path of spirituality for a long time and is a beginner’s guide.
When I noticed the manipulation, I began to ask myself – what makes this happen in my environment? Who am I deceiving myself?
These questions helped me realize that I was lying to myself.
š¢It was extremely difficult to see it, I really didn’t want it. But I was able to admit that I had been lying to myself about my ex-husband.
After his death, I thought that I must speak only very bright, pleasant things about him in order to preserve his beautiful name. Meanwhile, the real truth is that it wasn’t all pretty.
Alcohol and drugs were important in his life. I felt the need to save not only myself, but also my whole family.
š§š¼āāļøThat’s why I went to Bali, to a women’s camp, during which I meditated a lot, I was in silence, I got strength.
He died while I was in Bali, and I only managed to return home after a while.
.I keep getting asked what did he die of?
I used to answer that because of Covid-19, but the truth is that I wasn’t there and I’m not sure about that. It could have been Covid-19, it could have been alcohol and/or drugs.
I was especially bothered by the fact that I did not tell the truth, lied and attracted liars to my environment.
After a long time, I finally accepted the truth as it is.
Nothing more, nothing less, with all its colors, because it is the way it is, it was the way it was and I will not change it.